As though with your arms open

I scratched my cornea again. Not through any action other than just opening my eyes to greet the morning. 


Yes, that me and how I look when this happens, but with the Snapchat filter that prettifies.

This shit is fucking painful.

By the time that picture was taken I was on day 4… and one day after seeing my eye doctor.

I can’t explain how heinous this pain is. The eye feels like it’s full of sand, the light sensitivity is breathtaking (in the bad way), the pain shooting along the affected side of my face was inducing thoughts of possibly inflicting more severe pains as a form of getting relief.

People, take care of your eyes!

This is how my cancer experience has managed to linger, it’s been a new part of my life since the surgery. My doctor thinks it’s an erroneous assumption on my part, he is probably right… or maybe not.

There are things you can’t reach. But

You can reach out to them, and all day long.

The wind, the bird flying away. The idea of god.

And it can keep you busy as anything else, and happier.

I look; morning to night I am never done with looking.

Looking I mean not just standing around, but standing around

As though with your arms open.
~ Mary Oliver

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