Daily Archives: Thursday, December 22, 2016

A light from the shadows shall spring – 350/366

Who is the strongest person I know?

Goodness, that is a tough one. If I consider strength as a physical trait then I would have to think it is a friend of a friend – but that is just because he has frighteningly YUGE muscles.

If I consider strength of character then I think the answer is so complex that it would involve a number of people, too numerous to name, whom have dealt with something deeply heartbreaking.

 

“All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.”
~ J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

 

most of which never happened – 349/366 (catch up)

Was I a positive or a negative person today in the last twenty-four hours?

 

I feel, at times, like I am trying to crawl out of the darkest space I have ever managed to inhabit.  But that is making it more than it really has been, and yet doesn’t quite touch it.

Cancer is a fucking asshole.

I met with one of my oncological providers last week and we talked about how I am feeling. I was told that all of those are completely normal for anyone with a cancer diagnosis to experience. Couple that with the changes (hormonal) that a woman of my age often starts to experience, and you have the crazy state I have been in… of course my mother and aunt’s behaviour hasn’t helped any – but I was told recently by a fellow survivor, that most peoples friends and families act weird – and I want to add as fuck (my words).

I am feeling more hope-full today.  It is the Winter Solstice. My favorite days of the year. The moving from the shortest of day (in terms of daylight) and heading back into the sunshine. My grandmother and my son flank the two days that make it up, the old to the new – a true time for change.

 

“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”
~ Mark Twain