I just have no clue… while I may worry about what others think of me, I don’t operate my life with that in mind. At the end of the day, all the people whom I want to think well of me, will end up think of me what they will!
“It is impossible to escape the impression that people commonly use false standards of measurement — that they seek power, success and wealth for themselves and admire them in others, and that they underestimate what is of true value in life.”
~ Sigmund Freud, Civilization and Its Discontents
I am inspired by questions, especially those that look deeply into the status quo. I am a rebel, I am prepared to fight. I don’t think this makes me a very good person though… and that makes me uncomfortable. Yet, I find myself most inspired when in the throes of being a heretic.
“She is free in her wildness, she is a wanderess, a drop of free water. She knows nothing of borders and cares nothing for rules or customs. ‘Time’ for her isn’t something to fight against. Her life flows clean, with passion, like fresh water.”
~ Roman Payne
My mother – she sent me on an expensive and wild goose chase in a feeble attempt to get me to go to graduate – over $300 dollars later and a bunch of lecturing me for being upset at people who were also part of the mess – I find it very hard to talk to her – again.
“Why I would sell the whole world for a single kopek, just so that nobody would bother me. Should the world go to hell, or should I go without my tea now? I’ll say let the world go to hell so long as I can have my tea whenever I want it.”
~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Notes from Underground
How do others get past that? Time? ignore those panic driven moments? I am thankful that they are few and far between… but it, that feeling, hangs there at its ghoul gate waiting to scare me the every chance it gets.
“The year is dying in the night.”
~ Alfred Tennyson