Nobody asked your opinion – 288/366 (catch up)

What do I wish there was more of in the world?

This kind of theme (wanting more of something) seems to resonate with this week, what with the US Election 2016 behind us.

I wish there was more gentleness. I also know that in a global sense, that is not going to happen unless I continue to strive as an agent of gentleness.

I think this all came to a head because my father is a diligent Trump supporter… actually, he was a diligent Cruz supporter, but when that bid failed to materialize he moved with the nominee.

This was the nature of the exchange…. it is very personal and I revealed something that my father did not know (actually, I think only three people knew what I revealed about my life  prior to this exchange, now many more people know).

My Dad: 
One of Hillary’s points to vote for her was that women should break thru the macho-built ceiling. She lost, but Trump opens up the opportunities for women like they have never enjoyed before.

Trump broke thru an even more difficult ceiling – the barriers for anyone who chooses to run for public office opposed to the professional elite political power.

This is the real history we have seen made.

A friend of mine that is also friends with my father:  
I think Trump is going to lift them up even if he needs to grab them to do it.

My Dad:
haha! clever.

A female friend of my fathers:
Not clever–sexist b.s. humor. So sick of it.

My Dad:
I thought you would like it, XXXXX. It is one of the Trump statements that was bounced around. It could be taken as anti-Trump, and maybe it was. You never know if A friend of mine that is also friend with my father is coming or going

A female friend of my fathers:
XXX, I think you are a better person than to find humor is such stuff. When some crude, privileged jackass brags that his “stardom” permits him to do whatever he wants, even “grabbing them by their pussies,” I don’t see how any self-respecting person could be anything but offended. I guess some of them would feel honored if such a “star” did this to his daughter?? It is this kind of thinking that allows boys to grow up assaulting and raping women.

THIS was posted on a FB page I follow: “My best friend’s daughter – she turned 15 today – came home from school shaken up. Her and her group of friends were confronted in the hallway in school by a group of teen-aged boys who proceeded to inform them that they could “grab them by the pussy” if they wanted. They didn’t, thank god, and the girls reported the group of boys to the school officials, but man, what kind of people raise kids like this? This is horrifying. Now I’m terrified when MY daughter gets home she’ll have something equally appalling to say.”

Anyone who thinks this is just “locker-room banter” needs to see how it plays out in the real world:

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-37869062

And Trump is certainly not going “lift them up” with a VP like the Taliban-esque Pence, who has voted against equal pay for women three times and who thinks women incapable of making their own health choices. Please, get real!!

My Dad:
Sometimes, XXXXX, I just have to smile when I see the politically-correct walls torn down, even when it is something I wouldn’t say myself. We all need to have thicker skins and remember what I learned as a child: sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.

A Mutual friend of with my father – female:
Barf!

Me:
You know, I once met a man once who thought it was ok to grab me by the pussy.

I was 7.

It’s never ok. It’s not boys talk. It’s disgusting behavior and no father, uncle, grandfather, brother, husband, son, or male friend should want that to happen to a female they care about.

A different friend of my fathers:
oh XXX… no you just did not go there … I expect MORE from you!!!

REALLY???? Thicker skins??? NO NO NO…. what kind of trash talk is that? The idea that anyone would have to develop some sort of thick skin to do what??? Enable their bad behavior so that they can do it again and again? NO WAY!!! I’m sick and tired of hearing that crap! That is straight up BULLY MENTALITY.

Not a man nor a woman … NOBODY should ever have to reduce themselves nor deny themselves of RESPECT for some DISRESPECTFUL NARCISSIST who enjoys abusing their power to gain control … NOPE… not in this or any other lifetime. It is UNACCEPTABLE!!!

Me:
XXXXXX, of course he went there. He has always gone there, so, if anything, he is consistent. However, I am curious how learning that his daughter was molested while living under the same roof as him by a grown man that felt that women could be treated that way might provoke some deeper thought on what he really means when he calls for people (or in this case women) to have “thick skin”… because being grabbed by the pussy is not the same as having “sticks and stones” thrown at you (though that happened too, both physically and mentally).

Updated information 

My dad:

There is a world of difference between the action (which involves real individuals and should be severely punished), and the reference in a light, humorous vein to the action with no specific reference. Everyone has their own opinion of what is funny or clever and what is not, but political correctness tries to control speech of others based on someone’s ideas about what can or cannot be said, and I find that unacceptable. Have you raised the same issues about the performers at Hillary’s concert who made racist, offensive and obscene comments? I found them in poor taste, but I am not willing to censor them even though I have no respect for Hillary or the performers. This whole sub-thread, which is an off-subject tangent to my original post that was a positive one about women.

So, yes… as I revealed this about myself, I want gentleness.  I want men who don’t think women are a pawn of their own sexual needs. I want to protect the men I love and want to be protected by them. I want to raise a son that will not stand for men to talk like that, that will work his damnedest to not invoke the abuse that can be generated by any power given to him.

Unfortunately, this is a very cruel world… and my usually optimistic self is not holding out much hope that we have more gentleness coming  our way.

 

“Take some more tea,” the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly.
“I’ve had nothing yet,” Alice replied in an offended tone, “so I can’t take more.”
“You mean you can’t take less,” said the Hatter: “it’s very easy to take more than nothing.”
“Nobody asked your opinion,” said Alice.”
~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

And in the case you don’t appreciate my 80’s vibe in the one above, (though I know the singer and love all his music)  here is a pop song that has appealing imagery.

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