What is the last risk I took?
I struggle with these questions that can be left open to a superficial or a deeper interpretation. Life is a risk, every day brings things we are surprised by, if it doesn’t then you I would venture to guess that you are not doing it right.
I am a Pollyanna. Most people assume it means I don’t see bad and ugly. I disagree, I think i see past the bad and ugly. I have a friend that has given me the impression that I am not doing life right, that my quest for plain and simple and quiet is wrong, that my wish to behold the beauty is wrong… that I am a failure for failing to embrace the mean and cruel, the ugly.
The thing is, I think that I do that… but, I reject it.
I mean that after several years of trying things out my friends way, I was not any happier. I was probably more miserable, felt less resilient. Granted a cancer diagnosis in the midst of trying to embrace the fucked up side of life was not helpful… but then, was it a result of that?
So here I am, embracing gentle again. trying to forgive myself for letting myself fall. Working hard at not letting the negative invade.
I feel happier when I am this way.
“Fortune sides with him (sic) who dares.”~ Virgil