Was I “good” or was I “bad” today?
I need a definition, two of them actually.
I did not commit a grievous acts, not was I particularly wonderful and angelic.
I was a human, trying my best… mostly succeeding, sometimes not doing so hot at that succeeding thing.
But, in general, I am OK with who I am. I have made some mistakes and I have had some things I consider successes. I am getting more confident, and not the brave face kind that is actually pasted on… I am finding the kind of confidence that is really about how much I believe in me. This is kind of cool, though… please… know that this is still a huge work in progress.
I don’t want to feel like a failure anymore, but that is something I have to own. It is interesting to get to the place that I know that this is something that is mine, not something that is gifted to me by others. This is weird. I mean it is so obvious when you see it in words but so different in practice.