Chasing the inevitable – 137/366

What project am I working on?

Me, I am working on me.

Since “the diagnosis” I feel like life is terribly unsettled. Not the kind of unsettled that might mean exciting new things are happening but the kind of unsettled that you might feel when watching a horror movie and that things are ominous and are going to get bad… except that  I am more hopeful than that.  I am working towards things getting good, but they are still unsettled.

I am still so angry about things that happened as I was recovering. Things that were out of my control, with the exception of how I handled it. I am proud of how I handled things, but I am still so heartbroken about them none-the-less. I wanted to feel loved, I didn’t.

Betrayals of this sort are hard to work through, especially when the other party is not interested in making things better.  I think, though, that some people are just wired for “get over it” and that is not so easy for me to do now. I don’t want to live with that kind of things looming silently.



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