Non, je ne regrette rien – 91/366

Do I have any regrets today?

Regret is an interesting emotion/experience.

It is probably the one thing that has catapulted me in to greater adventure.

I used to really want to be a doctor. And I wanted to learn how to be one without the dependence of machines for diagnosis. I thought careful diagnosis was a lost art in the health realm.

So, I wanted to study where I could not have as much access to diagnostic machinery and such.

I was terrified to do this.  However, I researched schools in countries I was familiar with and found one that I thought might do.  I had to go and take a placement test, there were no overseas admissions.

So, with nothing to plan for other than to take a test… I showed up in Quito and gave my hand at medical school.

The thing is, the days up to that were terrifying. I was giving up what I had; a good job, familiarity, comfort for something that was completely unknown.

I had no idea if I would pass the test, I had no concrete plan on where to live. There was a list of things to do but not any safety net.

A dear friend sat with me as I was anxiously awaiting the departure date and held my hand through a bout of anxiety.

But that aha moment came. He turned and clasped both my hands in his, placing them on his lap between us, looked deep into my eyes and told me that I was not one to avoid adventure. Adventure was running to jump of a cliff, somehow knowing that I would be OK even if I was unsure what was over the ledge. To not take that leap would be a travesty, because my life was built by parents who took all sorts of chances.

Here is a few points on what I learned;

  • I was OK.
  • I went to medical school and discovered that no matter where you go they still try to train you to be an ass.
  • I had one of the most marvelous experiences of my life to that point.
  • I have no regrets for taking that flying leap.

It was not easy, but I survived.

So, I hate having to miss experiential opportunities. It drives me nuts, but… I am learning that they too are a part of the journey.

I take chances, and I don’t regret that.

As for what I do regret (because I have a terrible habit of going off topic);

  • being too stubborn.
  • reacting before fully considering the person/idea/situation.
  • being mean.
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