No so desperately seeking Susan – 84/366

What am I seeking?

Good god.

I am seeking acceptance.

Recently a friend pointed out that my one huge permeates everything weakness is feeling stupid and that if anyone wants to pound me into a useless mush, all they have to do is just tell me I am stupid.

I wish I could do justice to this prompt.  I am seeking being a good person. I am seeking giving back to the community, I am seeking being kind as often as possible.

In looking for an image for this post, I google images of “seeking quotes”.

It was not much fun for me, the results. Many were religious or so insanely self-serving that my eyebrows shot up with a grand curiosity as to how that would be a good thing or even a possibility… others seem incomplete.

And the truth in that is that I am seeking a way out of this insane tendency to be so damn judgey about things like quotes about  seeking.

Realizing this makes me feel stupid.

This is in a global sense, not just the book smarts.

I am most likely pretending to be seeking knowledge, and really doing more of just humoring the ideas that I have.

I have created a never-ending cycle for myself, haven’t I?

One in which I am never going to be good enough.

Utagawa Hiroshige – People seeking shelter from the rain
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