What am I seeking?
Good god.
I am seeking acceptance.
Recently a friend pointed out that my one huge permeates everything weakness is feeling stupid and that if anyone wants to pound me into a useless mush, all they have to do is just tell me I am stupid.
I wish I could do justice to this prompt. I am seeking being a good person. I am seeking giving back to the community, I am seeking being kind as often as possible.
In looking for an image for this post, I google images of “seeking quotes”.
It was not much fun for me, the results. Many were religious or so insanely self-serving that my eyebrows shot up with a grand curiosity as to how that would be a good thing or even a possibility… others seem incomplete.
And the truth in that is that I am seeking a way out of this insane tendency to be so damn judgey about things like quotes about seeking.
Realizing this makes me feel stupid.
This is in a global sense, not just the book smarts.
I am most likely pretending to be seeking knowledge, and really doing more of just humoring the ideas that I have.
I have created a never-ending cycle for myself, haven’t I?
One in which I am never going to be good enough.
Blair Necessities 