What makes me feel secure?
Goodness gracious. This is a loaded question.
Let me start of by saying I am completely and totally insecure.
I also think this is true of most people on the planet.
I think some are much better at faking it than others.
I think I may be on the better at hiding it side of the continuum.
The interesting thing about feeling secure is that in most people’s heads the feeling of security usually is a social feeling. It involves someone helping you feel that way. Go Google the images of security (and select or include feeling). The pictures usually include two people the one feeling insecure and the one providing the sense of security. It is kind of like the idea of comfort or comforting.
In part I think that one big factor in improvement is that of age. As I have gotten older, the things that would render me in tears, don’t seem to matter as much.
I find a tremendous sense of security in my family, those people who love me. The interesting note in this is that it is more about how much I love them. When my mother protected my aunt when I was recovering from cancer I learned that where my brain is completely and absolutely dependent on me. Having to navigate that taught me a greater sense of self resiliency. I suppose that by this I mean that I am fully aware that I can navigate hardships without the ones I thought I could depend on. That is big. It is also rather empowering.
I also learned that trying to fill in our security (personal) gaps with gratitude can be counter-productive if not done will full intention.
Lastly, and probably most importantly, I learned that being gentle with others gives me security. Knowing that I can go out and love people for who they are, without judgement it a good place to be.
Please, know that this last piece is constantly a struggle, the idiot that called me out on a crazy (so crazy I thought people would understand it) comment I made on a friends Facebook post somehow escaped my attempt at being gentle.
However, this gentleman (I ended up calling him a paragon of tolerance) aside I have found that being gentle to people, that range from normal to the crazy, is comforting.