I feel a little better today. I still am working hard in my brain as to what to do about everything in my post yesterday. I am sure it will come to me.
One of the images I use when I want to feel better is one from my life back in Ecuador.
Specifically, being on our ranch and sitting on the grass higher up on the mountain.
This is the mountain our ranch was on:
I have no idea where our ranch was in relation to that picture, but I have many good memories there.
The one that I am calling to mind is about sitting on the soft mossy grass, just above the tree line. There is a grass there that is soft like moss, but is a very small almost light green ground cover. It has these tiny pink berries, berries so small you can’t even see them unless you are looking closely. I can feel the high Andean wind burning my cheeks a bright red. I feel like I can hear the sound of God in that rush of wind blowing past my ears. I weave my finger in to the soft plants, smelling the earth. Listening to my horse hobbled nearby, and the chit-chat of my family enjoying a picnic. I feel connected to the earth, an extension of her, like a small dendrite-like messenger. I feel my hair blow across my face and whip around wildly in the wind. I pick the tiny pink berries and put them in my other hand, which is cupped in my lap… filling my cupped palm slowly with these little light pink jewels. Fairy food, I am certain it is fairy food. I put them in my mouth, one by one. tasting their faintly sweet juice. I watch our cattle off in the distance, grazing.
There is something about that moment that is so gentle, so peaceful, that it can still evoke a certain calm when I am weathering a storm.