Day 10 – 40DOW – tired

I’m tired.

I am lucky.
But, I’m tired.
Part of me feels like I should want to scream.
But, I feel tired.
Another part of me wants to curl up and sleep through this… wake me up when it’s over.
I got my paperwork for the oncologist and I left it sitting on the floor by my bed.
It reads.

I am curled up on my bed staring at it. 
It looks so optimistic.
Wondering if I’ll get turned away because I don’t have any “films” to bring with me, just my sad little 2 page pathology report.
Are the 18 days I had to wait going to get pushed to more.
This waiting is painful.
I’m trying to be patient.
And grateful.
And I am…
The sweet notes and efforts are so unbelievably touching.
But I’m also angry.
At myself.
And scared.
For my loved ones.
And tired.
So very, very, tired.

One thought on “Day 10 – 40DOW – tired

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