I am lucky.
But, I’m tired.
Part of me feels like I should want to scream.
But, I feel tired.
Another part of me wants to curl up and sleep through this… wake me up when it’s over.
I got my paperwork for the oncologist and I left it sitting on the floor by my bed.
I am curled up on my bed staring at it.
It looks so optimistic.
Wondering if I’ll get turned away because I don’t have any “films” to bring with me, just my sad little 2 page pathology report.
Are the 18 days I had to wait going to get pushed to more.
This waiting is painful.
I’m trying to be patient.
And I am…
The sweet notes and efforts are so unbelievably touching.
But I’m also angry.
For my loved ones.
So very, very, tired.