Restless nights provide for interesting lucid thinking. I’ll start from a doze-like-state with some thought usually a random one.
At this point, it’s 3:00 am and I am snuggled up in our Arizona pines under a heated blanket. I have arranged for a Skype call with my sister in England for later. But what woke me was the thought; “I don’t have Ebola”. Which isn’t that far off since we have a gentleman up here in a self imposed quarantine after his return from a mission trip to Liberia. News link
It’s also interesting that I’ve had to, on a couple of occasions, give friends permission to worry for me. When something scary happens to someone you care about it can be hard. But it’s tough to understand since I’ve always felt the right to deal with these things as my body dictated. I’m also surprised in the ever slight shift in my self. I’d consider myself to be nurturing in many ways, I tend to love people fiercely when something about them speaks to my soul, and as I manage the phone conversations and emails, I feel decidedly more nurturing to them. It’s very subtle, but it’s something I’ve noticed. I wonder if it’s the result of the emotional exhaustion or just an internal shift and I wonder how temporary it might be… this urge to tell the people I love that are family and friends to give in to how their body is telling them to react. Maybe it’s because I see love in their reactions and I’m honored and humbled by its reciprocity.
Maybe it’s because it’s now 3:30 am and I need to get more sleep.