This blog space was started when I felt betrayed by a group of women and needed a place to vent and call them out on their cruelty and be able to call them the names I couldn’t to their face because that is just not what I do.
I was devastated by them. I thought they were at least genteel acquaintances, but they showed me an ugly face that I did not think they had.
There were also posts about other friends who I felt had betrayed me, had been playing with me and my emotions and this was the place to share those so I could see them.
These posts are all private and password protected. I can’t even recall what the password is.
However, what I have decided is that being content depends on not focusing on the venting but on the gentleness on this great life experience. The truth is, in part, that many of the woes are dependent on gluttony of all things, on the abundance of the material and immaterial, to pretend that there is something other than self yet behave as if only self exists.
Contentment is my theme for this coming year. It may be ironic in a way I consider myself to be pretty content as it is… but after I had this notion that my year was dedicated to contentment that I happened to come back across this space and saw how much I had let others dictate how I felt. I am not sure how to change this as I still give others power over how I feel but I really want to change that.