A cyber friend.
I miss you so much. The note from your daughter that you had passed away threw me against a brick wall. However, since I never physically met you I was left having to deal with a set of memories that involved a computer. This is a new phenomenon to our culture today. Mourning people we care about but whom we have never met and can’t recall more than a series of emotions centered around writing and reading.
It’s been several months now, since you left and you come to me often. I have these conversations with you in my head, like trying to find a way to tell you that I’ve decided I like carnations or to ask you what I need to know to grow a rose bush in your memory. I feel so silly that I took (am taking) your passing so hard. It takes so much to not try and get needy about missing you with your husband and daughter, mostly because I feel they need to work through their grief and I’m I’ll equipped to do so. I suppose I just need to let them know that I consider you to be important too.
I still have conversations with you about faith and children, roses and photographs. I am still so touched by your acknowledgment to the assistance you felt I gave you as you graduated from college.
You are one of the women I consider as a cyber aunty to Squink. I had always hoped to get to meet you, and lament not forcing it the one time it came close.
I miss you and refer to you in my memories as Saint Patricia of the Front Range. I hope that you wouldn’t find that offensive but I strongly feel that you performed miracles for me.
I still miss you.