This weekend I had two people I care very deeply for pass away.

And even though they were both elderly, close to or past 90… it is still hard.


He and his wife had become a couple I loved to see weekly… they had magnificent stories about their lives and I eagerly greeted them every chance I got! Fernando served in WWII, almost by accident he had been made a medic… when he enlisted the questionnaire asked what had been their previous professions and he had been a stock boy… one of the choices was stockman and he had thought that this referred to the same job, but just older and well, at 18 he was a man wasn’t he?

What I loved most about him though, was how he treated his wife. You know those couples that still hold hands, they had that about them… though I don’t recall them holding hands per se… I do recall him hovering over her, making sure she got her coffee and ate her lunch and was comfortable… it was in the way he looked at her. It was special, that palpable way he felt about her… there was never a doubt about how he felt about her. That alone, makes me miss him terribly.


She and her family were dear friends with my grandfather and his family. She was close to my great aunt, and the parents were close as well. There had always been stories about Helen and her sisters as I grew up, to the point I figured they were relatives. Over the past few years I had more opportunities to spend time with Helen. The house her father built and in which she played with m great aunt is now a local restaurant, Local Breeze… she took us out to eat there several times. She told me stories about my family… I think my favourite being how our families handled things during the depression… It seems that during those times, there was one Christmas card, which was sent back and forth during those years… she gave this card to my mom.

I feel her loss profoundly, deeply. She was a tie to my family’s history. How grateful am I though, for the stories, pictures, cards and meals we did get to share.


2 thoughts on “Loss

  1. I have never understood the POV that implies that the death of those who have many years is somehow less than completely sad. The case could be made that the longer we have people in our lives or, in the case of more recent friendships, the more people have shared with us about their long lives, the more we cherish them. Even when it is “time”, their going from us leaves a hole.

    May the quilt of your memories and their friendship and love for you be a comfort. And may they rest in peace.


  2. Oh, Patricia… I think you nailed it. I spoke to someone about how sad I was and they responded with commentary about “how it was their time… they were 90”. I felt so sad about that… but your words make my very deep grief feel valid. Thank you, you always have the right words for me when I need them.


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